2024 preseason Bottom 10 – Michigan goes from national champs to our list

Inspirational thought of the week:

There’s a house honey, way across town
People coming from miles around
Put on your pretty red dress
Let’s go see about this mess
That’s it, baby let’s git
And go way far upon the hill

We’re gonna have a whole lotta fun
We gonna greet the risin’ sun
All night long we gonna ball
Until we hear yo mama call
That’s it, baby let’s git
And go way far upon the hill

There’s a thrill upon the hill
Let’s go, let’s a-go, let’s go

— “Let’s Go” Hank Ballard and The Midnighters

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, currently stowed away in a storage container on the freighter ship carrying Desmond Howard’s pocket squares to Ireland for “College GameDay,” we are ready to be resurrected from our winter/spring/summer football hibernation. Now let’s hope the teams on the list you are about to receive are ready to do the same.

Same. That’s a word that we won’t use much during the 2024-25 (like, way into ’25) college football season. Realignment has bankrupted Rand-McNally. The transfer portal has been like a merry-go-round hooked up to Max Verstappen’s RB20, the spring model. And when December arrives, it will bring with it a 12-team College Football Playoff that is designed to finally make everyone happy and will likely make no one happy.

That’s why the arrival of the Bottom 10 feels like a warm hug from your grandma. It’s still the same it’s always been. It’s familiar. It’s soft. It smells a little like eggs. But in a world that feels as unsettled as Tim Legler in an L.A. earthquake, it is also the anchor we need … even if the teams who brought it to us always forget to pull that anchor off the bottom of the ocean before attempting to sail. Y’all better get going. Dez needs his squares.

With apologies to Napoleon McCallum, John Paul Jones and Steve Harvey, here are the preseason Bottom 10 rankings for 2024.

Ty Pennington’s alma mater joins the ranks of FBS and thusly adds its name to the prestigious Annowls, er, Annals of Bottom 10 Owls, taking their head-turning perch on a dry-rotted tree branch alongside Temple, Rice and FA(not I)U.

The Warhawks bring in new head coach Bryant Vincent, who immediately felt a…