College football Bottom 10 after Week 13 – Roll over, Tide

Inspirational thought of the week:

I’ve got plenty to be thankful for
I haven’t got a great big yacht
To sail from shore to shore

Still, I’ve got plenty to be thankful for
I’ve got plenty to be thankful for
No private car, no caviar
No carpet on my floor
Still, I’ve got plenty to be thankful for

I’ve got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore

How could anybody ask for more?

— “I’ve Got Plenty to Be Thankful For,” Bing Crosby

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the massive tank where Jen Lada stores our collective tears that run down our faces while watching her “College GameDay” features, with only one weekend remaining in the regular season, thus in our Bottom 10 season, we are feeling reflective.

Reflective on a season that has brought us so much to be thankful for ahead of this week’s Thanksgiving festivities.

Reflective on a calendar that, like Tuesday night, has brought us so much midweek #MACtion action that it has not only interrupted family dinners (“Dad, stop watching the Holy Toledo-Akronmonious game, I’m trying to tell you I’m failing math!”) but has also totally screwed up our own Bottom 10 math because we are lazy and want to file our rankings early and go to bed.

Reflective on a #Bottom10Nation of Eyewitness Reporters who check in from games every Saturday, even when they seem to be the only people there.

Doing some #Bottom10 committee work for @ESPNMcGee as the Minute Rice Owls take on You A Bee. pic.twitter.com/6tU91FUSYL

— Scott Shinbaum (@Scoots71) November 23, 2024

Reflective on a year that while the rest of the College Football Playoff-obsessed nation has argued over who is in, who is out and who is getting screwed worse than an Ikea prefab bookcase, we have instead focused our dilated eyeballs on our Bottom 10 graduates who have tried to horn in on that conversation like my Cousin Jenny will Thursday. “Did you try my butternut raisin potato broccoli bars?” “Who did you vote for?!”

Reflective about the days when UNLV was unLv, Tulane was Too Lame and Colorado was Colo-rah-duh. Now they are no longer in the Bottom 10, but the Top 25.

And that causes us to reflect upon ourselves. To reflect on the person that we see when we look into the perfectly polished glass of Jen Lada’s aquarium of tears. To realize that, wait … is that…