2025 preseason college football Bottom 10

Inspirational thought of the week:

What do you do when you love somebody
And you decide to go it alone?
Ah, no, no, it never pays to give up on someone
When on the inside the feelin’ is strong

Oh, here we go again
I thought what we had was over now
But here we go again

— “Here We Go Again” Isley Brothers

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located inside the 18-wheeler of tissues being delivered to the “College GameDay” set for Coach Corso’s final show, we have spent the offseason staring at the map. Specifically, a United States puzzle map. We picked up the piece labeled “Massachusetts” and held it while we kept one eye on the calendar and one eye on the clock.

Then, as the long hand hit 12 and it became midnight and thus was officially Tuesday, July 1, 2025, we slathered crazy glue onto the back of that wooden facsimile of the Codfish State and screamed, “UMASS IS WALKING BACK TO THE MAC, BABY!”

That’s when the lights came on. Standing in the doorway were the kids from whose playroom I’d stolen the puzzle. They were crying. There was a dog, apparently named Mac, who thought I’d called him for a walk. Now he was crying. Then there was my wife, in her pajamas and mad because I’d woken her up. She pointed to my hand, still held high in the air about to slap Massachusetts into the heart of the Mid-American Conference and said, “Nice job, moron. You palmed the side with the crazy glue. I hope you like UMass as much as you say you do, because I’m out of nail polish remover. That’s gonna still be in your hand when the season starts.”

With apologies to former Villanova running back Larry Glueck, Lester Hayes, Harry Cover and Steve Harvey, here’s the 2025 preseason Bottom 10 rankings.

The defending Bottom 10 champs have lost 21 games in a row and fired coach Kenni Burns. But they let him stick around until spring practice had already started and said they didn’t fire him because his record was 1-23 but rather because of a list of reasons presented by university leaders. That included maxing out his $20K “P-card” which stands for personal card, not something the doctor has you use to check your alkaline levels.

Our Bottom 10 JortsCenter investigative unit has discovered a pile of wilted flowers and an accompanying thank you note, found in a dumpster behind the Kent State football offices, with a Kennesaw…